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Who is this "Moderation" they keep telling me to drink with?
How to find the perfect husband: Play monopoly with him. if he chooses the iron, he`s the one
Who needs a social life when you have Netflix and a fridge full of food?
A pessimist thinks that all women are sluts. An optimist hopes that they are.
I`m so unlucky with women? I visited a massage parlour the other day..and they told me it was "self - service"
Here`s to ignoring our real problems and getting outraged about something on the internet.
often rambles on and on about this and that seeming to be heading towards a point but really just blabbing about nothing.
Never let the printer know that you are in a hurry.
Cheers, to judging people who spell words wrong in their statuses.
Ok everybody. Please look in your bedroom closet. I got my stalking notes mixed up and don`t know where I am.
If your that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
Give a man a fish & he`ll eat for a day. Give a man a jelly fish and you can pee on him.
My flock of sheep were stolen from my farm last month. I`ve not been able to sleep since.
I want a man who loves me for my personality. Is it really to much to ask, I mean I do have several to pick from.
I was worried my notifications had stopped working but luckily Iām just unpopular.