Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just came to the realization that with their ridiculous fees, I`m tipping my ATM more than my bartender.
Yikes. don`t google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"
My daughter wants to know when the hamster we "planted" in the garden will start growing.
When a porn actress is rude at a restaurant, there`s really nothing the staff can put in her food for revenge.
That awkward moment when you`re telling the truth, but start laughing like crazy and everyone thinks you`re lying.
On a scale of 1 to "Me".. how smart are you?
You`re single? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. Yea me too.
I always try to learn from the mistakes of other people..... who have taken my advice
Man, just think how crazy Gollum goes on the 5th day of Christmas.
A female mantis kills the male after sex. That used to seem cruel, but now that I`m married with kids I think the male mantis gets off easy.
My brain has too many tabs open.
I took a 5hr energy today. they`re right about being able to multitask because it made me puke and poop at the sametime..
Campers: Nature`s way of feeding mosquitoes.
My Christmas present to all of you? I took a naked selfie and deleted it.
:): The Bipolar smiley face