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Apparently, you can only say "look at you! You got so big!" to children,,, old girlfriends tend to get offended.
I love my work, but I would also love to never have to do it again.
My brain is giving me the silent treatment
So when is this `old enough to know better` suppose to kick in ?
Dont judge a person by the color of their skin or by the content of their character but by the shape of their eyebrows
They might as well put "Uhhh..." in front of every item on drive-thru menus.
I really think there should be a separate driving lane for those of us running solely on caffeine and rage.
If you enter a room and there`s no food, you`re in the wrong room.
Recent survey asked people in the U.S if there are too many immigrants: 17% said yes, 83% said Lo siento, no hablan Inglés
Ladies first. Because it might be dangerous.
My wife and I have been happily married for two years. 1997 & 2004
I don’t think I get enough credit for doing everything I do while being unmedicated.
What’s the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?
When I get married I plan on introducing my spouse as my ex-fiancé just to mess with people.
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on?