Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The naked truth is better, than d dressed-up lie :) Aa
Hard work never killed anyone but why risk it?
I was disappointed to learn that the Discovery Channel’s program “Deadliest Catch” wasn’t about first marriages.
Game of Thrones characters should have to wear jerseys with their names on the back
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
I saw the city workers putting up a sign on my street and it says Bumpy road ... so I put up a sign that says ,, FIX IT !
The bottle of Pepto Bismol say’s 4 out of every 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one of them enjoys it?
Saw my ex with another guy at a bar last night. So I ordered a beer, took a few sips, walked over to their table, gave her date the rest of my drink and walked away... #leftovers
The nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever so I can rest medicine didn´t work. I´m going to try 1 bourbon, 1 scotch and 1 beer instead.
Actions speak louder than passive aggressive Facebook statuses.
Having a 14 year old has made me realize why some species eat their young.
This could be the best day ever… but it isn’t. Again.
Expect nothing and you`ll be impressed every day.
Sometimes.. late at night... I fill my bathtub with tomato sauce and pretend I am a meatball.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a beautiful day.