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I posted one little joke claiming to have won the lottery and Facebook finds me 1,347 new possible relatives.
When life gets you down, just remember: It’s never too early or too late for a nap.
the difference between people and celebreties ...... celebreties don`t have a routine
If I ran my legs as much as I did my mouth, I`d be in fantastic shape.
I have just one thing to ask you people who say the memory is the first thing to go: What did I come in here for?
You can learn a lot from a person especially when you watch them through high powered binoculars, I`m just saying.
Please respect the revolving door speed that has already been established.
A new study suggests that a future study will completely contradict this study.
I`m not mental, other wise the rubber duckies would have told me by now...
You never know how dirty a song`s lyrics are until you hear a child sing them.
Every night before bed I do this cute little thing where I stare at the Internet for 6.5 hours
I don`t need an excuse to drink, but thank you for giving me one.
Well, it`s easy to tell I`m single. It`s Saturday night and I`m at home updating my facebook status...
No, I did not forget my password. I distinctly remember it being 8 asterisks.
6 FUNNIEST CONTRADICTING WORDS 1.Clearly misunderstood 2.Exact estimate 3.Small crowd 4.Found missing 5.Fully empty 6.Happily married