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They’re called scents, not flavors, I should not able to taste your perfume or cologne.
Doctor says I`m morbidly a beast. Thanks doc.
Math questions are so stupid! They’re like “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other, what do I have?” Oh I dunno, a drinking problem maybe?
Yikes. don`t google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"
When people sit in front of me at the movies. I make a loud fart sound so they quickly move to get away from me.
The recipe said "prick with a fork,",,,, but enough about me.
The worst thing that can happen when you invite someone over to "watch a movie" is actually watching a movie.
My house is not messy. Those are just obstacles I`ve put in place for burglars.
You see a mouse trap, I see free cheese and a challenge. ;)
Deaf people don`t have safe words, they use stop signs.
Miley Cyrus is not unique. I have been having full body spasms and licking random objects for decades.
Something tells me that girl with the word "Princess" tattooed on her neck isn`t really Royalty.
Fun Prank: Put $1000 in an envelope and mail it to me.
If Jesus was the son of Mary and he was the Lamb of God, Does that mean Mary had a Little Lamb?
I`m thinking of making a sax tape to make myself well known like some of the bad boys and girls do...does it matter if I can`t play it?