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Girls who say "alot of guys are after me" should keep in mind that cheap things always attract many customers.
To those that manufacture and market tight, thin yoga pants to fit college girls; I love you man.
The best moments in life are simple… you know like when you sit down and get comfy and the remote is magically next to you.
Change is hard. Seriously, have you ever bit a nickel?
If I didn`t procrastinate, I probably wouldn`t do anything at all.
Guests are coming over for Thanksgiving... Almost time to booby trap the medicine cabinet with marbles.
Dating a woman in 5 easy steps: 1. Be attentive 2. Don`t be too attentive 3. Show interest 4. Don`t show too much interest 5. Seek therapy
I used to care ... but I take a pill for that now.
My little brother just told me I looked stoned as hell. Which is a little weird, considering I don`t have a little brother...
If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.
The bears had it right choosing to hibernate all winter.
If guys were smart, they’d forget the nightclubs and watch the supermarket for girls who buy frozen dinners and cat food.
I remember 2012 like it was yesterday.
I`m on my 5th coffee, just in case you`re wondering about the "other way" to get to Narnia .
Ain`t no sunshine when she`s gone..... or sandwiches.... Ain`t no sandwiches either.