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You’re the reason I wake up everyday... Just kidding I have a job!!
You know you`re getting old when you`re looking forward to some time off so you can have like three doctors appointments.
If your phone doesn´t ring it´s me.
I`m not crazy I`m just special! No wait maybe I am crazy.. One second, I have to talk to myself about this hold on...
I have a bad habit of laughing at inappropriate moments.
screw flowers, its all about chia pets ;)
You need a high five, in the face, with a chair.
i dont like ling distance relationships so i move the fridge to my room
My friend offered me a free pole dance class. I said no. With my debt, the last thing I need to find out is that I`m great at pole dancing.
I`m glad it`s the thought that counts because I spend all day thinking about the sh!t I should be doing.
My bank lets me send a text message and it will text back with my balance. Its a cool feature but I didn`t think the LOL was necessary.
I Like this quote. I dislike this quote. I am so clever that sometimes I don´t understand a single word of what I am saying.
If she owns more than 4 pairs of yoga pants, expect A LOT of text messages
that awkward moment when you`re alone somewhere and trying to take a picture of yourself.
Beware of the deodorants with instructions that ask you to "remove the top and push up bottom"... they could at least make them round.