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If you can`t handle me at my worst...I don`t blame you, neither can I.
I have thought a lot about it and I am thrilled to announce that I have decided to never die.
To say I wasted today would be a huge insult to the producers of the 3 movies I watched.
The only thing worse than having a song stuck in your head for an entire day is not knowing the name of the song.
can be sympathetic, empathetic, compassionate, welcoming, loyal, trust-worthy, forgiving, understanding, and giving. But not to today!
On the 12th day of Christmas my FB gave to me- 12 dudes I`m blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted Barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, fiiiivvvvee drama queeeennss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends a-pokin and a creep who wont stop Inboxing meee... ;)
Apparently everyone was too high in the 70`s when Grease came out to notice that every "student" at Rydell High looked like they were 35
OK look, if I meet you for a date and you don`t look anything like your pic, then you`re buying drinks for me until you do.
Nice try, Henry Winkler, but Iβm not inclined to take mortgage advice from a guy who lived above the Cunninghamβs garage for like ten years.
If I ever had to run for my life, I would probably die.
What if dogs bring the ball back because they think you enjoy throwing it?
I never used to mind my wife hitting me in the face as she climaxed until I found out she was faking it.
Some people are good listeners. Mostly, though, they`re just nodding and thinking about bacon.
In life you will meet all sorts of people, happy, moody, shy, loud, weird, and then there`s me So deal with it mmuhaaaaaaaahaaahaaaa that`s right !
Instead of LOL, try SALTS ( smiled a little, then stopped)