Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A new study has found that women with larger butts live longer than men who mention it.
What do you call a guy who makes "Woman in the Kitchen" jokes? Single.
I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials just to show him how good he has it.
When listening to skinny girls talk about losing weight it`s perfectly reasonable to battle cry then karate chop their tiny stomach`s.
Your eyes are so beautiful. If you look deep enough i can see my own reflection...
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
How do you get to be that guy who waves the chopsticks at the the orchestra? I feel like I could do that.
"Wife dragged me to this theater. Somebody shoot me." -Abraham Lincoln`s last Tweet.
Head & Shoulders needs to come out with a body spray that will help repel flakey people from my life.
If alcohol kills millions of brain cells, how come it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
One day, people are gonna write songs about the nap I`m about to take.
We look like we are being productive, but really, we are just talking sh!t about co-workers and how drunk we got last weekend.
My mom just sent me a friend request on Facebook! Finally I can use that "I`m not your friend I`m your mother" speech to my advantage.
If you need some help at Home Depot and are being ignored, get on one of their step ladders.
Yesterday I saw something that reminded me of you. I almost stepped in it!