Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My New Years resolutions are just a list of mixed drinks I haven`t tried yet.
My first mistake was thinking she couldn`t hit a moving target.
The only thing I hate about beer is that there`s absolutely nothing I hate about beer... :)
Is it weird to get naked during a massage? At what point can I ask the masseuse to put his pants back on?
In case of fire, do not use the elevator. Use water...
A cheap way to get Botox face is by walking your dog in zero degree temperature.
Ladies, Admit it. Sometimes you look down at your own boobs and think "Wow, these are Awesome!"
You always remember your first Crush. Mine was Orange.
Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.
I feel sorry for men who don’t know how to value women. One look at a woman and I know how much she will cost me.
How easily you`re offended is directly proportional to how dumb you are.
I will admit, my statuses sound a bit different when read aloud by the prosecuting attorney.
After reading some marriage post, I`m beginning to suspect we all may have been married to the same person.
Make yourself at home. Clean my kitchen
Smelling another person should be a choice.