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The best thing about telepathy is…I know, right?
The expiration date on my credit card is 4/20 and it always gets a good laugh when Im ordering pizza for delivery.
Immature is a word boring people use to describe fun people.
There’s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.
I`ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.
If I saw a ghost, I would not be scared. I`d be like "Sit your translucent a$$ down, I have a lot of questions!"
Nothing tests that whole "for better or worse" thing like the question "does this look infected?"
Facebook: A place where people, who know so little about anything, have so much to say about everything.
The brain is the most outstanding organ, it works for 24 hours 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
If you feel bad because you didn’t do well on a final, just remember someone from your hometown is still trying to become a rapper.
What scares me most is that some people think I actually know what I’m doing.
Whenever you`re feeling down and in the dumps, just remember...the rest of us have been feeling that way about you too!
If someone doesn`t respond to your text within 5 minutes, they obviously don`t love you anymore. Probably never did, react accordingly.
Don`t talk about yourself so much... we`ll do that when you leave.
If you can`t say something nice about someone, you probably know the same people I do.