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in 2014 there were times when I annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you and bugged the hell out of you. Today i wanna let you know that i planned to continue with it this year :-)
I miss newspapers. It`s weird hitting a dog on the nose with an iPad
I swear this is the last time I watch Groundhog Day
I hide from people too, so I get it bigfoot, I get it.
This status is dedicated to whatever you’re ignoring in real life to read it.
Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my phone. 1. I don`t have a girlfriend.
Found out the name of my neighbor`s cat. In other news, I now have free internet.
When something goes wrong in your life, just yell "PLOT TWIST!" and move on.
According to science the atoms in my body contain the energy of 30 hydrogen bombs, and yet, not enough energy to get up early and go jogging.
My clothes are 75% off and this is not a sale.
Save water- shower with me!
I like to go to the bathroom with the door open, because it keeps other people from getting onto the elevator with me.
If you watch Jurassic Park backwards, it`s an uplifting film about dinosaurs and people who work together to rebuild an island.
I`ve started an exercise program. I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times.
Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious