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Honesty is the best policy, unless you`re trying to return something that you`ve already worn.
April 1st is the absolute worst day to have a heart attack.
Facebook is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.
there`s a fine line between "cocky" and "confidence"...and it just so happens I have perfect balance!
For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember… that’s where the knives are kept.
Redneck Term Of Thee Day-Wisdom: "Mah bruther had him some kidney stones, but he wisdom out!"
Anyone else has a plastic bag at home full of plastic bags?
Relationships are like just-out-of-the-oven pizza. You know it`s going to burn you, but it looks so good and maybe this time it won`t?
I`m giving up procrastination for Lent ... starting tomorrow.
Sorry I ordered a salad and then ate all your fries.
My weight loss goal is to not care about the crumbs at the bottom of a Pringles can.
I went for window shopping , and guest what , I bought four windows....
be smart, pretend to be stupid!
The only good thing about being an alcoholic is that no one ever asks me to drive them anywhere.
Keep your friends close and your unattractive enemies closer so you look better by comparison in pictures.