Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Apparently getting injured while in the KISS Army doesn`t make you eligible for V.A. benefits.
Hot Pockets: For when you want every bite to be a different temperature.
So many rules; so little time to break them.
How do they put the "do not walk on the grass" signs up?
SINGLE GUYS: Nervous about flirting with a woman? Just remember: they`re smart, confident, and aware they don`t need us, so yeah, you should be worried.
I`ve gotten to that age where nothing fits right anymore. Even my birthday suit looks like it needs ironing...
No one knows what women really want, but everyone agrees it still won`t be enough.
My gift horse is facing the wrong way
RAIN!!!! :) I guess my rain dances must have worked. Some people call it stumbling around... I call it rain dancing.
I yawn all day at work & school. But when it comes to at night, Iām not tired at all.
Every time I`m around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence.
It`s remarkable how much I can get done out of sheer spite.
i wasnt that drunk * "bro, you destroyed my mothers garden while screaming F*CK FARMVILLE!"*
I can paint the house and buy new furniture and my kids won`t notice, but, buy a new phone case...
How Big is Infinity?