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I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
I wish I could feel as happy as an adult, as I felt as a kid when the teacher wheeled in the TV during class
"Love is all we need."-Said a wise man 40 years ago. He obviously has never had a computer
Honey, your haters are imaginary. No one wants to be you. I promise.
I think the spork would have caught on better if they called it "a forkin` spoon!"
This rough sex would have been a lot better if I wasn`t alone.
While waiting for the right person, have fun with the wrong one.
Diet plan: make friends fatter
I watched my first silent movie the other day. The kids weren`t there.
Dating should be like buying a car... You should get to talk to the previous owners! SHOW ME THE MANFAX
You think your life is bad? I’ve got that “Five dollar foot long” song stuck in my head
My resume is basically just a list of things I hate to do.
Staring longingly at the door works for my dog, but I tried it at work and no one let me out. :(
I accidentally did yoga once when I couldn`t reach the toilet paper.
Not to brag, but most of the problems that take Dora the Explorer 30 minutes to figure out, I can solve in like 18-20 minutes.