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Those of you who say “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” don’t really get how the whole “dead” thing works, do you?
never be afraid to wipe twice
The word "Lovers" bums me out unless it`s between the words "Meat" and "Pizza".
Do you know what would really be fun? ... No really.. If you know, tell me.. I`m bored to death.
If running on a treadmill was the only way to recharge our phones we would be the healthiest mofos on the planet.
roses are red , violets are blue , I got five fingers and the 3rd one for you ;)
Candy canes are the perfect treat. They are minty & put you into the holiday spirit & can easily be fashioned into a shank.
No thanks, marriage. If I wanted to stop getting laid I would just start wearing crocs.
Apparently everyone was too high in the 70`s when Grease came out to notice that every "student" at Rydell High looked like they were 35
Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a sh!t?
I have no interest in skydiving. I get enough of an adrenaline rush hoping my debit card goes through.
I broke up with my gym, we were just not working out.
I will never forget the day when she said yes to me because that was the last time we agreed on anything.
Sorry I mixed 50,000 instant pudding packets into your above ground pool
Sometimes I wonder if the kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught a fish yet.