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I just found out people are playing golf online. And I thought my life sucked!
I hate buying feminine products! How am I supposed to know if this is the right kind of broom or not?
Hi, you`ve reached my voicemail. Send me a text like a normal person.
When my dog sniffs another dog`s poop I can only assume that it`s their equivalent to checking a friend`s facebook page.
When I`m not sleepy, I listen to some Chris Brown. That knocks me out right away.
When you realize that your car matches the one in the Amber Alert.
Fire at will! Oh, it`s you, Bob! Fire at Bob!"
No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you. I just want the oil change
never realized how awkward it is to study the reproductive system in a coffee shop.. until now.
If it`s the thought that counts ... Then I should probably be in jail
Im out like a fat kid playing dodge ball
I will never repeat filthy rumors. So listen closely the first time.
I hate when reality happens outside of my head.
Once again its friday I know its only been 7 days since the last one but feels like its been a week....
If you want to talk to me on the phone, I need at least three days notice.