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Facebook game requests are like the Jehovah`s witnesses of the internet.
I put the pro in inappropriate.
Wisdom is understanding that a tomato is a fruit, but you don`t add it in a fruit salad.
Does this green St Patrick`s Day beer count as a vegetable.
Had a big mix up at the store today... Apparently, when the woman said strip down facing me,she was referring to my credit card.
Eventually we’re just gonna have to accept “ducking” is a swear word.
How are poor people so good at finding money for tattoos?
My wife went home to visit her mother today. Or as I refer to it. Her “bitch refresher course”.
Even though I`m a guy I still get nervous when I pee on a pregnancy test.
Facebook should just change it`s name to "People You May Want to Avoid."
That awkward moment when you imagine your own funeral...
OMG, what a day I had. If Monday was a guy, I`d punch him in the throat!
I’m home alone. Time to start my concert.
If stress burned calories, I’d be a super model.
My reaction to stepping in dog sh!t is identical to me logging onto Facebook