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Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."
My wife didn`t appreciate me pointing out that my alcoholism began around the time that we first started dating.
Soul mates are people with the mutual understanding that no one else will put up with their sh!t.
I ignored your Facebook friend request because there isn`t a "Hell no!" button.
Just saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster, I had to step in, They couldn`t even lift him, We high-fived & laughed
I`m a responsible person. People are always saying "I know you`re responsible for this."
You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
Target had a credit card breach? But only with in-store purchases, not online? More proof you`re better off staying home with no pants on.
I`m not sure how to say this but ... Worcestershire sauce
The Four Seasons, by Facebook: Spring: LOOK FLOWERS! Summer: LOOK AT MY DASHBOARD TEMP! Fall: LOOK LEAVES! Winter: MORE DASHBOARD PICS!
I always give my extra money to Charity. She is usually on the main stage around 11pm.
is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep
Give a man a beer and he wastes an hour, teach him how to brew, and he wastes a lifetime.
The club sandwich, for when a knuckle sandwich just isn`t enough...
I feel that being a smarta$$ is my duty. The pay sucks, but the work is very rewarding.