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Just so you know, the movie "Life of Pi" has nothing to do with dessert.
Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from the neighbours house is genius.
Think of me as an idea. A really, really bad idea.
Some days there just isn`t enough give-a-damn.
should probably get my daily dose of calcium.. white russians it is
Dating these days must be so hard, because how do you know somebody loves you if they don’t make you a mix tape?
There’s really no reason to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.
Brains are awesome! I wish everyone had one...
Of course you have a right to your own opinion. Just like I have a right to tell you to shove it up your a$$.
Just how hairy was the dude who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?
It’s amazing how long you can hold your farts at the beginning of a relationship.
Hash browns not tags.
It`s amazing how different the phrases "alcohol free" and "free alcohol" are.
Relationship has 12 letters, but then again so does alcohollllll
If Milli Vanilli were to fall in the woods, would someone else make a sound?