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At least mosquitos are attracted to me.
Cauliflower is just broccoli ghosts.
"IT`S A BOY" I shouted, tears rolling down my face "I DON`T BELIEVE IT. A BOY!" It was at that moment I chose never to visit Thailand again.
Saw a woman crying as she was buying tampons last night. ..Must be going through a tough period in her life.
went to see the conjuring, and now there`s 10 crosses, four bibles, and a poster of Chuck Norris in my room.
Someone’s therapist knows all about you.
Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pac Man, for 25 cents that bitch would swallow balls til she died!
finally joined craigs list. who wants to see my junk?
If the cigarette tax is meant to discourage smoking, is the income tax meant to discourage working?
Made some terrible life choices the last few years. Just kidding. I`m married and not allowed to make decisions.
if truth is what u want...in return alcohol is all I want...
Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.
Who`s more foolish, a fool or the person who takes a fool`s advice?
Considering this is the land of the free, stuff is pretty damn expensive.
All my dance moves look like i`m trying to tell the guy on first base to steal second