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I still believe in love. But I also believe in sasquatch, nessy, and that I could win the lottery. So there`s that....
The reason i connot lie is because i like big butts.
This week’s weather forecast: Sweaty underboobs.
I like playing with my dog when I`m high. Because I don`t have one when I`m sober.
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
11th Commandment: Thou shall not gossip about other people’s lives when you are not doing any better yourself.
My neighbour has diabetes and now she won`t make me cupcakes anymore, its like bad things always happen to me.
Just saw 2 homeless guys hitting eachother with cardboard... PILLOW FIGHT!
I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
Do you ever wake up and kiss someone next to you and appreciate being alive? I did this and was chased out of the bus
WARNING::World Health Organization says radiation from cell phones may cause cancer. Please text everyone you know about this.
Now accepting friends that live on a lake and have a boat and/or jet skis
What doesn`t kill you, makes you stronger... except for lions, lions will definitely kill you.
I`d take a stupid dog over a stupid person any day.
I like going into McDonald`s and ordering an Egg McMuffin and a McChicken, just to see which one comes first.