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A fun way to get exercise is grab a chainsaw and chase a hiker.
I need to find a way to be asleep but still get all my work done.
I`m just here until I can make day drinking a full time job
I´m not lazy, I´m just highly motivated not to do anything.
By the time I realized my parents were right, I had kids that didn`t believe me.
I don`t like the term "stalker". I prefer "unpaid private investigator".
The path to inner peace begins with 3 simple words....Not my problem.
Parallel park, like nobody’s laughing.
likes to end all my phone calls with "Ok, I`ll see you later on at the party!" and then quickly hang up. Let them figure it out.
What kind of wine goes best with laundry?
My "check engine" light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there...silly light.
I`m all for change as long as it doesn`t directly affect my routine.
These energy drinks make sitting on the couch so much more exciting.
It`s no fun having nothing to do, fun is having a lot to do and doing nothing.
New Study: Long-term beer drinking can lead to depression, also known as "running out of beer."