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To me, the worst part of the prostate exam is when the doctor says, "Guess how many fingers."
I love that sound you make when you shut the hell up.
Anything is possible when you have no clue what you`re talking about
If I had any self control I`d probably eat that too.
doesn`t mind that people start spreading rumors about me.. it’s when they spread the truth that I’m screwed ;)
I hate when I spend the extra money to buy organic vegetables only to get home and find out that I bought regular donuts.
I wish they made barstools with seat belts and dual side airbags.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
I paid attention to the construction signs and got in the correct lane. You ignored them for miles and now you want me to let you in. Not gonna happen.
Found out today you cannot join a gym "just to watch".
If I didn`t drink, how would everyone know how much I love them at 2am?
you know hes a keeper when you know his facebook login and password!
Okay I`m going to workout. Should I post about it now or after I`m done?
Whenever I hear someone say β€œSTOP” my brain says β€œHammer Time”
I like to finish other people`s sentences because my version is better.