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You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you like to do for fun.
Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners.
I don`t have the blood alcohol level to deal with you
I`m not saying women are smarter than men, but it`s kinda ironic that there`s so few known women serial killers and so many unsolved murders.
Breaking News: I took a bath today
Sometimes I feel like a loser for spending so much time on Facebook. Then I remember there are people out there who comment on pornhub videos
When someone tells you they are getting a divorce, a high five is not the right answer. Or so I`ve been told, twice now.
I`d rather run a marathon than listen to someone talk about running a marathon.
You post all of your drama on Facebook. Then get upset when people judge you? You must be a special kind of stupid.
A cop comes up to a man on the street. Cop: Seen anything unusual? Man: A dolphin with a hat once. Cop: I mean around here. Man: No, they live in water.
is wondering why books on "how to make women happy" arent displayed in the fiction section
In the 60`s we took LSD to make the world look wierd. Now the world is weird and we take Prozac to make it look normal.
I want to grow old and disgusting with you.
"Oh!Look The Smurfs Grew Up!"Grandma those are Avatars." -_-