Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You feel naked without your phone, I feel naked without my clothes.
I have this condition that prevents me from going on a diet. I get hungry.
If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.
The other day someone told me I could make ice cubes out of leftover wine. I was confused... What is leftover wine?
It`s the simple things that make me laugh....mostly you.
I had hopes and dreams. Now I have vodka and Facebook.
Have we considered putting Scooby Doo and the gang on the Malaysian airplane caper?
I hope you all have a prosperous New Year ... I may have to borrow money.
"This isn`t my first rodeo" -Guy at his second rodeo
Sometimes I wonder if these old men sitting on the benches in the mall waiting on their wives to finish shopping were old when they sat down!?
When your parties have glasses instead of red cups, you’re a grown up.
People keep thinking that I care ... Wierd.
I refuse to celebrate Earth Day until Wind & Fire are recognized.
People without kids: I`ll never yell at my kids ... People with kids: I DONT KNOW WHY SOMEONE SPIT THEIR GUM ON THE ROAD, JUST WALK!
All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.