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We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches.
Facebook is like Chinese food. When you think you had enough, you want more.
Sometimes you`ve got to ask yourself: `Why am I talking to myself?`
Sorry, I didn’t get your message because I deleted it without listening.
I never said I was better than everyone else, just better than you.
IRS: We`ve got what it takes to take what you`ve got.
This day is going downhill faster than a wagon full of fat kids!
I`m just a boy...standing in front of a girl...asking her to lov.....aw who am I trying to fool. I just want in your pants.
People often say laughter is the best medicine, but they neglect to mention that an overdose can cause one’s ass to fall off.
Apparently, walking up behind a hot guy in the produce aisle with celery in my hand and whispering "I`m stalking you" was much funnier in my head.
I only hate the people in front of me while checking out at the store. Everyone behind me is cool.
How to find the perfect wife: Play monopoly with her. if she chooses the iron, she`s the one.
I dream of a day when a mysterious hand will pop out of the screen and b!tch-slap you silly each time you post a boring or stupid status.
Telling me to calm down is the easiest way to get me to tell you to go f*ck yourself.
Don`t Follow Me, I`m Lost Too