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Why go out and pretend to like people when you have Netflix?
How is it that when you are dead and a zombie you can rip open a man`s ribcage, but when you are alive you struggle with a bag of chips?
like this if you are against animal cruelty
when is humpty dumpty going to hatch?
Adding "just sayin" to a smart-a$$ed comment makes you even more of an a$$hole. Just sayin
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Pokey, but I’ve turned myself around.
Some people should use a glue stick instead of chap stick.
Guys, how many times have you said "it looks great honey" when you really are just laughing inside?
People are like slinkeys; they don’t really serve a purpose, but you can’t help but laugh when one of them falls down the stairs.
If a Jehovah`s Witness dies and goes to heaven does God hide behind the Pearly Gates and pretend he`s not home?
I am really getting tired of every time I go out people use me for my body. You know, to shade them from the sun and all.
I hope common sense is the next cool trend.
You don’t have to be drunk to love me, but it helps
It would be so cool to be able to see an album of all the pictures you’ve accidentally photobombed in public.
My mum`s so old fashioned she thinks LOL = Lots of love. She sent me an SMS saying just to let you know you`re Pa`s in hospital LOL.