Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How can so many movies be “based on real events” when no one farts?
Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
I find you`re total lack of ambition is inspiring.
I`m kind of clueless about pop culture. I thought "Hogwarts" was an STD
To the squirrel carrying the mushroom up a tree to his nest: you may want to eat that with your feet firmly on the ground, buddy.
Hey pigs, stop trying to swallow entire apples. You keep dying!
If you never set it, you always have the excuse, "I overslept because the alarm didn`t go off."
Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can’t tell anyone about.
Studies confirm that smoking withdrawal (for me) can be fatal (for you).
If you are a turkey right now and someone offers to cut off your head, stuff you full of dressing, and cook you, do not do it. It is a trap.
I’m drinking because you’re talking.
Don`t talk to me like I`m stupid until you know for sure.
For the record, giving someone the creeps for Christmas is technically not a gift.
Want someone to stop texting you? Sleep with them.
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.