Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My earthquake kit is just a tuxedo because in case of a disaster, I want to look like the most important person to save.
I`m glad people are exercising but I want to see cooler activities posted on FB. Like "I spent 1 hour wrestling a bear. 110 calories burned."
I saw the most beautiful painting at the store the other day … but then I realized it was a mirror.
If I lean to the left. I am not trying to whisper in your ear. I`m married. I`m gonna fart.
Headaches are when the voices inside my head get into a fist fight.
"2 weeks with my baby xoxoxo" lol,calm down romeo&juliet.
My favorite part of country music is the part where I change the station.
If I learned anything from my children, it`s that it is always OK to do something stupid, as long as someone DARED you to do it.
I may be delusional but at least I`m going to Mars in November.
I`m sorry we fought ... I hate it when you`re wrong.
My wrinkles are all from laughter. Except those between my eyebrows. Those are my `WTF` lines and those things are deep.
Come on. Let`s all go and be happy in front of some miserable people
The Bible is Christianity’s Terms of Service. Nobody actually reads it, but as long as u agree to everything in it, u can use the Heaven app
I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
You`re more inbred than sandwhich filler.