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I have a feeling I already know which direction my "Get rich or die trying" lifestyle is headed.
We live in an era of smart phones and stupid people.
Someone asked who sang Johnny B Goode, and I said Marty McFly because I`m not an idiot and I know how time travel works.
Whenever I see a really hot girl with an ugly guy, I think "klondike bar".
I didn’t sign up for the 401k at work, because there’s no way I can run that far.
I do procrastinate more than I should, but it always gives me something to do tomorrow...
Well that`s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I`m doing.
My parents never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, "Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"
Life is tough. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it like the rest of us.
I always dress up when I try to cook. The odds of me starting a fire are pretty high and I want to make sure I look good for the firemen.
sleep is for people without netflix
Most people don`t realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.
My desire to be well informed is currently in deep conflict with my need to stay sane.
Reincarnation is my only hope.
Every wanna answer every question with a middle finger? That`s kinda where I am today.