Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
Mom: "Why is everything on the floor?" Me: "Gravity, Mom."
If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. Nobody will stop a person running with a fire extinguisher.
Rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off of the floor is another story.
Work is the result of failing to procrastinate effectively.
To clear a pop-up ad online, I was just forced to agree that "I don`t care about being healthy and smelling clean."
I bought a box of "SO CALLED" Hot Pockets --- brought them home, and opened one to eat it, and the Damned thing was FROZEN ----- Miis-Advertizing at it`s BEST!!! Now what do I do with the Damned thing???? :-P
You should get at least 8 hours of beauty sleep... 9 if you`re an ugly bitch...
Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade.
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
Sunday morning = lazy lay in my bed and fart under my sheets all day :)
Man: "You look nice today..." Woman: "Was I ugly yesterday?"
I want to tell my coworker I have strong feelings for her, but I`m afraid things might get weird if she knows I hate her.
Remember before Amazon reviews when you could just buy a toothbrush without 6 hours of research?
"Iām definitely going to do that tomorrow.ā ā Me being delusional