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Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now and then.
They say that being successful and living well is the best revenge. That may be so, but rubbing your naked ass all over someone`s cell phone when they aren`t looking is pretty good too ?
I try to get in at least 30 minutes of talking about exercise every day.
Have you noticed that tire stores never hang big banners that say "Blowout Sale"?
i never said i knew what i was doing, i said i was going to do it anyway :)
How long does it usually take for a Happy Meal to start working?.... It`s been an hour.
What do you get when you cross a pitbull with a computer? I don`t really know but when it megabytes, it megahertz
Okay, I am getting really irritated. This is the 5th ATM I`ve been to today that`s had "insufficient funds".
I bet my church never imagined it was even possible to twerk to Amazing Grace.
Been there, done that. allegedly
If you`ve never actually got dressed, got in your car & pretended to drive "to work" to get a chick to leave your house then you`re not me.
I want to live in a world where the Food Network delivers.
Its weird how your entire day flashes before your eyes the moment you realize that your zipper has been down and you haven`t pissed in 8 hrs
Jingle bells johnny smells, amelia ruled the show, frankies okay, marcus is gay, little mix all the way.. HAY !!!
There damn well better be strippers & beer at my intervention because there is no way in hell I`m sitting through that sober!