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Eventually I will find Bigfoot and he will tell me all he knows about Hide & Seek.
Making an effort in the last of 2014 to cut away distractions so I can spend more time with my iPhone.
Behind every crazy woman is a man that made her that way.
And that`s when I realized, it wasn`t the hamburger who needed help, it was me
I couldn`t find the word `Disappear` in the dictionary. Strange!
Show me in the employee handbook where it says I have to like you. Go on, I`ll wait.
Never take a laxative and a sleeping aid on the same night. dont ask me why.
Maybe Oscar wouldn`t have been so grouchy if the people on Sesame Street cared about the fact that he`s homeless
Most people donate to the homeless. Me? I donate to the topless.
My favorite thing about winter...waking up from hibernation!
Diet Tip #63 : Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour.
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public,…Why don’t you ever smile in my pictures?
If he`s dumb enough to send you a generic message in a mass text...be smart enough to reply to all "I still haven`t gotten my period."
Sometimes I think hip hop music gets a bad rap.
All I need right now is a hug ... And five hundred thousand dollars in cash.