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I didn`t get a chance to do yoga this morning or any other morning of my life.
If you see me talking to myself don`t be alarmed. I`m getting expert advice.
I love how people say they`re "expecting" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin.
The only yoga stretch I’ve perfected is the yawn.
That "No alcohol beyond this point." sign might as well say "I bet you can´t chug that whole beer!"
Being married is 90% talking about what to have for dinner.
is pondering why people have a favorite color M&M when they all taste the same!
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, “well that’s not going to happen.”
The best part about going to Wal-Mart is having the book aisles all to yourself.
My kids will be mad at me when they discover it isn’t illegal to talk in the car while I’m driving.
The Roomba vacuum cleaner just beat me to a piece of popcorn I dropped on the floor & this is how the war against the machines begins.
You’re one of those women that my mom warned me about…Here’s my number.
My last boyfriend used to smile and say "I love you" to me every morning as he left for work. At least I think that`s what he was saying. It can be tricky to lip read through binoculars.
I don`t know exactly who`s health I`m drinking to, but they`re going to be immortal at this rate
Just because she weighed as much as two women doesn`t mean you had a threesome