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I’m starting to think plates are called china because most of them look the same.
Just put my money where my mouth is. Pennies taste disgusting.
I may have just inadvertently accomplished something.
roses are red , violets are blue , I got five fingers and the 3rd one for you ;)
I drank an energy drink so if anyone needs help packing, pushing your car to a gas station or shaking the leaves off a tree
I`ll bet other dogs must think that poodles belong to some weird religious cult.
I just awesomed all over the place.
My dentist just told me I need a crown..... I know, right??
Dear life, I`ve had enough bullsh!t to last a while. Can we take a little break please.
McDonald’s Management Rule #23: “The employee with the most severe accent or speech impediment must work the drive-thru at all times.”
A chain lock on a door is just there to annoy the person who is breaking in to kill you, right?
Some people are such treasures that you really just wanna bury them.
I wish tanning beds could pop you out like a toaster when you`re finished.
On a scale of 1-10, I give this day a middle finger.
The early bird gets the worm! So does the late bird. They all get worms all the time; there`s tons of those things. Relax, there will always be a lota worms......