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People, like prescription drugs, should have to list the side effects they`re likely to cause.
There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
So vegetarians eat vegetables... I think I`m going to play it safe and avoid humanitarians.
Maybe my goal was to be a 35 year old loser on the Internet ... You don`t know.
FACT: Candy corn is made out of melted down traffic cones.
My favorite hobbies are practical jokes and masturbation. I’m always trying to pull a fast one
I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scan it…
I guess “Trying to be” isn’t really the answer the doctor was looking for when he asked if I was sexually active.
Women have to deal with periods, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause and hot flashes. Men have to deal with women.
The queen honey bee has up to 40 sexual partners a day, just like your ex.
I`m just saying a sarcasm font could go a loooong way!
If history has taught us anything, it`s that reheated french fries are gross.
I`ve spent three hours investigating this chicken and I still can`t find his nuggets.
Not to brag,,,, but legally,,, before something can be labeled "Idiot Proof",,, they have to run it by ME.
My goal weight is,"someone give that girl a cheeseburger."