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Wrapping these baby carrots in Tootsie Roll wrappers is exhausting but the payoff will be worth it come Halloween.
I never know the proper etiquette with the pizza delivery guy. Do I kiss him before or after paying him?
Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
Ever get out of the shower and not remember getting a towel ready but its there anyway? You`re welcome.
Sea levels aren’t rising due to global warming. They are rising due to the increase in obesity. The continents are actually sinking…
#1738 "The fact that people use the wrong "your" and "there" yet spell "Bieber" correctly bothers me."-dd
I was told there would be kool-aid.
Having sex is like doing FRACTIONS... It`s IMPROPER for the larger one to be on top.
Don`t worry if you had a bad day, remember there are people who have their ex`s name tattooed.
If you`ve had cats, the singles virus may already be inside you.
Don’t judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I’ve changed since then.
Decided to get in touch with my feminine side today... I made myself a sandwich!
Walmart...because going to Target requires identity theft protection and a shower.
Sometimes, half your sh!t is worth it.
I hate fake people...especially the ones at the mall advertising clothes in front of the stores