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Didn’t have internet on my phone for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 17 books and showered.
I mixed coffee with Red Bull today..I got half way to work when I realized I forgot my car!
Happiness is the journey, not the destination, and when you reach your destination, ie; bottom of a beer, you must embark on a new journey, ie; get another beer........
If you never jumped from couch to couch as kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.
I just scrolled so far back on Facebook`s Timeline... I wound up back over on MySpace. :(
I really would like to take a yoga class. But I really can`t trust my farts.
I never get caught because I`ve watched all 27 seasons of Cops..
When you`re down about your body image just type "fat people" into Google images, always makes me feel better!:)
I consider each one of my friends a gift. Now if only I could remember where I put some of those receipts.
From all these shows I`ve watched it seems like snipers lay down a lot of the day....I`d probably be pretty good at that job.
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
Ahh..Monday, so we meet again ... You dirty bitch!!
What’s the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?
If you had to choose between your significant other and a million dollars, what`s the first thing you`d buy?
Whoever named anteaters, solid effort right there.