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Modern video games are giving kids unrealistic standards of how many swords they can carry at one time.
Remember the good old days when making the “duck face” involved 2 Pringles?
2 cops walk into a bar... I don`t know what happened after that. I got the f*ck out of there.
Answer your phone, "come in" just to mess with people once in a while. Count how many seconds it takes for them to respond.
To-Do List: Nothing [?]
Best of luck explaining why you’re still single at Thanksgiving and Charles Manson isn’t.
The only real difference between my 20s and my 30s is that now I make all my bad decisions before midnight.
just wanted to tell the weekend that I love you and I will be back, I will not let the weekdays take me away from you.
Some people want a perfect relationship. I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials.
Anything you say will be used against you, in an argument, 10 months from now, because I’m a woman. And we never forget. Anything. Ever.
If I were to quit my job today and become a psychic, I would advertise with a sign that reads, “Voted best psychic of 2016!"
Okay I`m going to workout. Should I post about it now or after I`m done?
Question everything...Or should you?
I wish college was 5 easy payments of $19.99
Once again its friday I know its only been 7 days since the last one but feels like its been a week....