Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
That awkward moment when im in the Airport, I walk through the metal detector, and my abs of steel set it off
All I`m saying is that the cheese grater wouldn`t have 4 sides if they wanted you to wash it after every use.
The only difference between fear and adventure is how much you breathe.
Some people say having a child is the best experience in the world. These people obviously never had 2 thing fall from a vending machine at once.
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding… that the other person is a complete idiot!
Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who is not buying this?
Just Failed my Health and Saftey Test.The question was,"What steps would u take,in case of a fire?!"Big f*cking ones"was the wrong answer.
I don`t know about you . But everytime I go on Twitter , I get this weird feeling , I am being followed.
Breaking News: I took a bath today
The problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude about the problem.
If I look tired at the end of the day, it`s because I just spent eight solid hours looking busy.
If I were to give up Sarcasm, that would leave interpretive dance as my only means of communication.
Bored? Text "Our condom broke." to a random number
Life is tough. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it like the rest of us.
True love is when you burn your tongue when you take a bite from a pizza and you still keep eating it.