Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t know which is worse... waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it or hearing them say "come in" when you knock on the bathroom door...
Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Kevin.
Chuck-E-Cheese, because it`s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling..
I feel like a piece of corn in the digestive tract of life ~ I`m going through a lot of crap but I`m sure I`ll come out whole.
Bitch I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
Fact: 96% of all arguments end with somebody saying “Google that shit!”
does anyone know if smurfs are gluten free
Sorry, I can`t hangout. My uncle`s cousin`s sister in law`s best friend`s insurance agent`s roommate`s pet goldfish drowned. It was tragic.
My kids wanna have a water balloon fight later, I just got done putting mine in the freezer... Wanna bet I win...
I can`t believe we made a movie that is essentially giving the apes a blueprint on how to take over the Earth.
The most frustrating thing I`ve ever tried to do was throw away a trash can.
I wonder how many couples would still be together if they traded phones for a weekend
I took a sexual harassment course today, I think this is actually something I might be pretty good at
For my next trick, I’ll turn this 12 pack of beer into drunk dialing/texting.
The iPad: Because the iPhone was too small for other people to notice you.