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I bet more people would call the Gambling Addicts Helpline if they made every 5th caller a winner.
PLEASE - put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has been eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn`t know, they can also breathe fire. 93% of people won`t copy and paste this, because they have already been eaten by dragons. 6% of people are sitting in the shower armed with fire extinguishers and the remaining 1% are awesome and will re-post.
Anything is possible when you have no clue what you`re talking about
You know what tastes better than one taco? Two tacos!
Judge: I`ve decided to give your ex-wife $350/month for child support. Me: That`s very generous. I`ll try and kick in a little myself.
Just...sitting...thinking...planning my next move to get that new roll of toilet paper about 5 feet away from me.
What if all this time it`s been Chicken that taste like Frog legs????
Did the Baha Men ever find their dogs? Did they put up posters or just sing that song?
If you`re not afraid when someone is flipping through the photos on your phone then you`re probably boring.
You got your chocolate in my peanut butter!
The world is full of nice guys who want naughty girls who want bad boys who want nice girls who want nice guys.
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
Random Fact of the Day: Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
At times I wish I had a clone, but then I realize, I could never live with that a$$hole.
I wonder what my future wife is doing right now ... Hopefully modeling.