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It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
I try to avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road. Just in case they are in the middle of a race.
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
great minds and dirty minds have something in common, they think alike
Why do they ask you "Please press 1 for English, then put you with someone who`s accent is so thick you can`t understand them?
I prefer not to think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
I don`t really care who wins the elections as long as everyone had fun out there.
9 year olds have a Blackberry, an iPad, a laptop, & a Facebook… When I was 9, I felt cool with my new markers.
Since It`s summer here`s a little advice, best way to beat the heat is to wear a San Antonio Spurs jersey
We must STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under!
I HATE it when I get invited to weird events on Facebook. ..For the FIFTH time, I do not want to go to your cat`s birthday party. Damn it! ..My dog is getting married
If nobody hates you, you are doing something boring.
I dont believe in beating my kids, so I make them wear a Justin Bieber shirt & crocs to school so the other kids will do it for me.
Pretty sure airport food was priced by children just learning about numbers. "Ok Brian, how much should this apple cost?" SIXTY TWO DOLLARS!!
Me: Mom...Dad. I`ve decided to live on my own from now on. Parents: ok, cool. Me: Your luggage is outside