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The problem with frozen yogurt is that it`s not ice cream.
I thought Row vs. Wade was Washington`s decision when he reached the Delaware.
"Slow and steady wins the race." Unless it`s one of those weird races that puts an emphasis on speed
Someone asked me why I use the "F" bomb so much. What the F*ck is an "F" bomb?
I get so confused when I`m about to watch a TV show or movie and "For Mature Audiences Only" appears on the screen. Can I watch or not?
My face hurts from pretending to like you.
Why doesn’t McDonalds have an order taking microphone on both sides of the car, yet?
The only person whom a woman listens carefully & follows sincerely & does exactly as he says is a photographer
When someone looks over my shoulder while I`m on the computer, I open up a new tab and start searching, "HOW TO KILL THE PERSON BEHIND ME."
That moment when I try and be helpful to a blind man getting off the bus by saying, "watch your step"
Getting older is pretty much just paying bills and finally understanding why killers in horror flicks target teenagers.
One of us spends too much time on Facebook.
Nothing says love like hearing a toilet flush on the other end of the phone.
If you walk a mile in my shoes the least you can do is leave a pair of yours to wear.
Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up -- In 30 minutes? In 3 hours? In 9 years? No one can ever be sure.