Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The only thing worse than dramatic girls facebook statuses…dramatic guys Facebook statuses.
Money can`t buy happiness, but I`d rather cry in a Ferrari.
"Dancing with the Stars" is being canceled, but tune in to a new reality show by the same creators called, "Athletes do your Taxes."
Don`t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.
Hold boobs not grudges.
I gotta go guys. I just found out my lunch break isn`t 3 hours long.
I always stip to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porn starts off.
Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
I was called a village idiot today which really upset me ... I live in a city.
Pretending to be nice is exhausting...
Why can`t Mosquitos suck Fat instead of Blood!
If heat makes things expand, then I don`t have a weight problem ... I am just Hot!
If you watched the story of my life backwards, you`d see an incredibly inspirational story about hair growth, weight loss, and vastly improved athletic ability.
BOOK FACT: If you took every book at Barnes and Noble and laid them end to end you get thrown out by security and banned from returning.
I used to be poor. Then I bought a thesaurus, and now I`m impecunious.