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Not sure what`s longer. A microwave minute or a treadmill minute.
Don`t play stupid with me! I`m better at it.
Toilets are really just fart amplifiers when you are trying to be quiet.
*Gets absolutely nothing done*β¦ Welp time for a break.
The path to inner peace begins with 3 simple words....Not my problem.
Just had workplace violence training. It`s like HR doesn`t even care about the first rule of fight club.
Today is Valentineβs Day or as I call itβ¦ Tuesday.
I used to be a terrible flirt ... I am much better at it now.
A homeless man comes up to me asking for change, I say "Change comes from within." He looked stunned.
"You CAN even."- white girl life coach
Life`s too short for Salad..............
If I dont clean my house soon. They are gonna bring in blindfolded people to do a Febreze commercial
dont love..dont hurt...keep doing flirt..:)
I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize it was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of bullsh!t.
The only benefit of getting new clothes for Christmas is that I don`t have to do laundry for another week or two.