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No one sees you when you`re kind, no one sees you when you do a nice thing, but all will see on you when you fart.
iOS 8 let`s you passcode lock specific apps? It`s fun imagining how many break ups that will cause.
I wish my GPA looked like the gas prices right now...
I`m only 2 girls short of a threesome.
Is beer cheaper off the kids menu
Some of the best things in life...are mistakes.
That awkward moment when you’re laughing so hard, you accidentally hit your head on something..
When you buy Halloween candy to hand out as an adult, it`s like you are paying for all the free candy you got when you were a kid.
drinking while working out...it`s called Bacardio
If people winked in real life as much as they do in texts, the world would be a really creepy place.
wants to jump in a cab and yell "follow that car!"
The cashier at this self checkout is horrible.
None of us have it as bad as the porcupine giving birth to another porcupine.
Ain`t no sandwich when she`s gone.
Dear Cashier, you should stop giving me attitude and acting like you`re job is so complicated and stressful....Self-Checkout has proven that pretty much Anyone can do your job.