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Running feels great unless you compare it to not running
How do I tell a man he loves me?
One day you will meet someone so amazing in every way who will want absolutely nothing to do with you.
The Walking Dead reminds you that other people would still be your biggest problem even if most of them died.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women hahaha
If A-B-C-D didn’t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to be so rushed.
My daughter wanted a Cinderella themed birthday party, so I invited All of her Friends over and made them clean the house.
Anyone else has a plastic bag at home full of plastic bags?
Johnny : Pull my finger Tommy : No Johnny: "Come Bro Do IT!!" Tommy : fine ... Johnny : *SNEEZE IN THE FACE*
I get a lot of “You must work out!!!” I just wish it wasn’t from doctors. :(
"I`ll drink to that." -me to my next drink
Co-worker: My wife`s an angel. Me: You`re lucky, mine`s still alive.
I need to stop lying to myself ... This bag of Reese cups will never make it to Halloween
The phrase "the truth shall set you free" does not apply to murder.
Ok everyone enough of your "family" time, come back to the internet. We are your real family.