Daily Silly Status

Hey movie villains - make a bomb where the wires are all one color.

Turning your signal light on once you`ve already changed lanes is just about as useful as offering to help the old lady across the street AFTER she`s already been hit by a school bus full of screaming children. Just sayin`

I wear a ski mask to bed so if there`s a home invasion, the intruder will think I`m part of the team.

Things to do today.....pet all the spiders in my house at least twice with my shoe.

I got pulled over for drunk driving last night. In my defense I didn`t even know I was driving.

Do you know how many poisonous apples I`d have to give out before I was considered to be the fairest in the land?

Have you ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you´ve had?

Make fun of George Bush all you want, but he would have found a way to bomb North Korea before they shut down Hollywood.

Have you guys seen the new documentary about white trash? I only saw the trailer.

I am deleting my twitter right now! Not to seem paranoid but I think people are following me!

The two major causes of depression are: a) having a job, and b) not having a job.

Gone insane. Be back Tuesday.

If you still can read this, please inform me ASAP because I have probably blocked the wrong person!

I accidentally opened the fitness app on my phone for the first time ever. It just began pointing at me & laughing.

Life is too short for fake butter, cheese or people.