Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I would like to remind everyone it`s not the size of the boat... Or the motion of the ocean, but the whether the boat is able to stay in port until all passangers have gotten off.
Saw a midget go into a store while wearing a KKK outfit and thought... That`s a little racist.
I need an app that shows oncoming traffic on my touchscreen while I`m driving
My wife let me remove all her clothes last night ... From the dryer
Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person. ..apparently they call THAT stalking.
People are so weird. You reach under the bathroom stall to tie their shoes and they freak out instead of saying thanks.
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Happy New Year you guys.
Trying to get in shape for all those people I`m not having sex with.
I bet if we all threw our problems into a big pile, we’d see everyone else’s and scramble to get ours back.
There is no such things as ghosts. I know, I asked Santa Claus
Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done.
Now that there is no FBI director we can finally make copies of VHS tapes
People often mistake me for being a good listener. The truth is, I really just don`t want to talk.
Insanity workout? The fact I am even considering putting down my phone and getting off the couch is crazy enough, thanks.
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.