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Am I the only one who runs up on happy couples and yells, "How could you do this to me" and then runs off crying?
Your so vain...you probably think this post is about you
"Cannot connect to network. Reset your wireless router." "Umm, okay, but what if my router is in my neighbour`s house? Should I call him?"
Just because you have a beard doesn`t mean you`re a man. Last time I checked vaginas can grow hair too.
You know its a bad day when your fat pants are tight :(
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to .... unless your in prison!!!
Can someone make a voodoo doll of me and send it off to the gym?
This morning I jogged for 30 swear words.
Be good ... or I will text Santa
If you put a "Student Driver" sign on top of your car, Nobody will ever suspect you of drunk driving.
Frozen water balloon fights... not a good idea.
i just fell off a 20ft ladder.. good thing I was on the first step.
You think having periods is hard? ... Try being on a 24 hour killstreak on Call of Duty with itchy balls.
I always get this dream where I`m driving in reverse ...Then I wake up and see that I`m driving normally.
Opposites attract, that`s the trouble with being awesome